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Restore the Respect

Restore the Respect

How to Mediate School Conflicts and Keep Students Learning
Author: Ondine Gross

ISBN: 978-1-59857-942-0
Pages: 256
Copyright: 2016
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Size:  7.0 x 10.0
Stock Number:  79420
Format:  Paperback
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Unresolved conflicts in schools build barriers to learning, including low motivation, lack of focus, and disruptive behaviors that remove students from the classroom. When teacher-student conflicts occur, the negative effects can be long-lasting without a safe and structured way to repair the relationship.

This reader-friendly guidebook has a concrete, evidence-based solution: an easy and effective 50-minute mediation technique for teachers and students in Grades K-12. School psychologist Ondine Gross guides you through the whole process of starting a teacher-student mediation program, conducting successful mediations, and collecting and monitoring data to measure the effectiveness of the program. You'll also learn how to use the technique to mediate conflicts between students and between adults in schools, including staff members and parents.

Highly successful as a Tier II intervention, this common-sense solution will help your school leave ineffective discipline techniques behind—and embrace more supportive approaches that model social and problem solving skills, reduce suspensions, and keep students learning.


  • Reduces disciplinary actions—82% of students who participated in teacher–student mediation had no further disciplinary referrals from that teacher*
  • Removes or reduces obstacles to student learning and achievement
  • Gives teachers insights into student stressors so they can develop positive solutions
  • Strengthens and repairs relationships among all members of a school community: teachers, students, staff members, and parents
  • Enhances social-emotional learning and communication skills
  • Builds trust and promotes a caring and respectful environment among people of different backgrounds
  • Fits perfectly within response to intervention and systems of schoolwide positive behavior support frameworks
  • Works in any school—embed it as a Tier II intervention in your multitiered system of supports or use it as a standalone strategy

*Statistic derived from average of three years of data from a midsize public high school

PRACTICAL MATERIALS: Compelling school stories; candid feedback from teachers, students and administrators; step-by-step mediation training and practice scenarios; sample mediation dialogue and communication tips; an intervention tracking tool; and a "mediation toolbox" of handouts and forms.

Watch a webinar to get an inside look?

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by Meghan Gentry
on 6/22/2016
Amazing Tool!
Restore the Respect is a must-have addition to any educator's collection. If you work in schools in any capacity (or ever have any type of conflict or communication breakdown in everyday life), this book is a MUST! Ondine's work is proven to show results by creating a space for relationships to build, grow, and repair. 

Misunderstandings, conflicts, and communication breakdowns occur regularly within schools. Through stories narrated in the book, you will learn how to help restore relationships with students and become a mediator of conflict in everyday life.  Ondine paints the setting using her school district as a backdrop, and she provides a format that is used daily in her work. As someone who uses mediations frequently, I was able to increase my knowledge and refine my skill with this simple, effective technique. If you think you already know all about conflict and how to mediate challenging conversations, this book will surprise you with a different way of thinking! It is worth the read in so many ways!
Review and Rate this Item


Review by: Terence Fitzgerald, University of Southern California
“This is an amazing addition to the library of any public school administrator, teacher, social worker, or psychologist. Gross eloquently crafted an accessible mediation pathway that is balanced with depth and clarity.”
Review by: Linda Sloat, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
“In Restore the Respect, Ondine Gross incorporates humor and a lifetime of public school experiences to share ways to use mediation by all stakeholders. As she says in the preface, "…schools are made up of people, and how people treat each other makes all the difference. Relationships matter!" A truer statement was never written. What especially captivated me was Gross's work with the adults in a school and mediation. So often it is the adult relationships that are toxic or at least unhealthy. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who is interested in a very doable road map of how to put the teaching back into disciplinary consequences as well as strengthen collaborative relationships among all within a school.”
Review by: Lori Ernsperger, author of Recognize, Respond, Report: Preventing and Addressing Bullying of Students with Special Needs
Restore the Respect offers valuable and practical guidance for nurturing respectful student-staff relationships through mediation. Ms. Gross describes the importance of creating caring school communities along with step-by-step procedures for conducting mediation and a ready-to-use mediation toolbox. Restore the Respect will transform schools in a very positive way.”
About the Forms
About the Author
Foreword Jed Baker
  1. A Call to Action: Reforming Discipline, Improving Relationships, and Building Better Schools
  2. Systems to Help Students: How Response to Intervention and Multi-tiered Positive Behavior Supports Transform a School
  3. What Is Teacher–Student Mediation?
  4. How to Conduct Teacher–Student Mediations
  5. What Is Required of a Skilled School Mediator?
  6. Sources of Teacher–Student Conflict, Problem-Solving Strategies, and Sample Mediations
  7. Feedback on Teacher–Student Mediation
  8. Promising Data: Mediation Is Effective
  9. How to Conduct Student Mediations
  10. Mediation with Adults in Schools: The Next Frontier
Appendix A: Your Mediation Toolbox
Appendix B: Tier II Intervention Guide
Watch a webinar
Introducing Restorative Teacher-Student Mediation

Watch a TV interview with the author
Managing student-teacher conflicts

Watch a demonstration of Restorative School Mediation
Restorative School Mediation

Read an excerpt
What is Teacher-Student Mediation?

Read an author Q&A on the Brookes Inclusion blog
“Restoring the Respect” in schools: 8 questions about mediation with author Ondine Gross

Persuade your school administration to adopt mediation!
8 Reasons Why Teacher-Student Mediation Should be in Every School